Self-determination theory is my favourite leadership and management tool because:

(a) it is well supported by research-based evidence, and

(b) it gives us a simple way to understand and support the people around us.

Self-determination theory tells us that we all have 3 basic psychological needs: the need for autonomy, the need to build competence, and the need for meaningful relationships with others.

If these needs are supported and fulfilled we thrive. If they are thwarted, we feel demotivated, disengaged and distressed.

So, naturally, as leaders we need to do all we can to support the attainment of those needs in our teams.

And for the most part, you probably do. Just as I probably do - most of the time.

But it is easy to slip into habits that get in the way of these needs being met.

And it is especially easy to do that when we are new to leadership or when we feel under pressure. Because it is in those circumstances, that we are more fearful of how things are going to turn out.

As a result, we try to take control and, when we do that, we threaten our team members’ autonomy and their ability to build competence.

In, short, if you start micro-managing your team, you are sabotaging their chances of delivering the good outcomes you are fretting about.

Here are some signs to look out for - and avoid.

You check in daily, sometimes multiple times per day, on tasks that don't require it. You tell yourself you're "being supportive". But the truth is, if a task doesn't have daily milestones, daily check-ins are surveillance.

The signal you are sending: I don't trust you to do this properly.

What your team member is thinking: “This is annoying. Can’t you leave me alone to do my work?“

You find yourself changing things that are perfectly adequate, just because you would do them differently. You rewrite emails that already communicate clearly. You adjust formatting that was fine. You tweak presentations that would have worked perfectly well. (Full disclosure: I’m prone to this one).

The signal you are sending: your work isn't good enough.

What your team member is thinking: “Yes, that comma makes all the difference. I don’t know why I bother?”

When you constantly "improve" good work, you teach people that their efforts will never meet your standards. So why should they bother?

You've supposedly handed over responsibility, but you're still involved in the detail. You ask to review every email. You want to be looped in to every decision. You take "one quick look" before anything goes out.

The signal you are sending: I don’t think you are good enough to do this.

What your team member is thinking: “Maybe you should do this yourself, you idiot!”

True delegation means trusting the process, not just the outcome. If you're still doing the work, just more slowly and through someone else, you haven't actually delegated at all.

You prescribe exactly how to complete a task, step by step. You impose your approach even when the person has the capability to figure it out themselves.

The signal you are sending: there's only one right way, and I’m going to tell you it every time.

What your team member is thinking: “This is getting ridiculous. I wonder if there are any jobs going in the XYZ team”

What you should try to appreciate is that another person’s approach might actually be better than yours, especially when they have given the depth of thought to it that you don’t have time to do.

People check with you before making decisions that fall squarely within their remit. They ask permission to schedule routine meetings. They seek your input on choices they should own.

What it signals: They’ve given up.

What your team member is thinking: “Thank God I’m leaving”.

Every time they check with you unnecessarily and you respond, you reinforce the pattern. You've created learned helplessness. You've become the bottleneck for all progress and destroyed any sense of belonging and pride in their work that your team ever had.

Obviously these are extreme examples, but it is easy to start drifting into micro-management territory if you are not properly mindful of the impact of your actions.

Here are some things you can do to keep right:

Apologise and reset. If you have committed any of these crimes, or you’re close to it, come clean and acknowledge what you have been doing and why (“I’m feeling under pressure”, “I’m desperate for us to show what a good job we can do”). Commit to a more reasonable approach and stick to it, eg “from now on, just update me at our weekly 1-to-1 unless something urgent comes up. If you need my input before then, just let me know."

Resist the urge to interfere. When you want to check in or offer unsolicited input, ask yourself: is this necessary for the outcome, or is this just my anxiety? If it is unnecessary, back off. If you feel uncomfortable, good; you are breaking a bad habit.

Demonstrate trust publicly. In meetings, show how you value your team members' expertise: "That's [Jane’s] area—what do you think we should do, Jane?" When reviewing work, say "This is good. Let’s send it." When someone asks your opinion, say "I trust your judgement. What are your thoughts?"

The goal here isn't to become hands-off to the point of abandonment. It's about creating appropriate space for autonomy while remaining a reliable source of support.

In other words, the goal is to lead.

The truth is: you can’t do everything. So, although micromanaging feels like control, it actually risk creating the poor outcomes you're trying to prevent.

All of my posts for new leaders are here.

Coaching - I have a few spots available for 1 to 1 coaching. I can help you with any of the people leadership challenges you might be facing. There are more details here.