Leading former teammates: the challenge of going from colleague to boss

According to a survey of new leaders by the Centre for Creative Leadership, the toughest initial challenge that first-time leaders cafecis leading former peers.

I remember my own struggle when I went from being a lawyer in a team of lawyers to managing the team.

It was tough and the fact that some of the team were older and more experienced than me made it even tougher. I had no guidance or help. I was just left to work it out for myself, which is very often what happens.

Of course, when you find yourself in this situation, while some former colleagues will be glad you got promoted, others may be resentful that they didn't get the role themselves. Some might even question whether you're up to the job.

You might question whether you’re up to the job.

No wonder it is such a challenge.

So in this article I’ve set out what I've learned from my own experience and from coaching others through this transition. The key is to operate honestly, patiently, and strategically and to remember, above all, that this it is not all about you!

Your first instinct might be to pretend nothing fundamental has changed. After all, you're still the same person with the same values and work ethic.

But ignoring the shift in dynamics doesn't make it disappear. It just creates confusion about expectations, boundaries, and how the team should operate going forward.

The solution is refreshingly straightforward: just talk about it! (Actually, that is the answer to many a leadership problem, but I’ll save that for another day.)

At the earliest opportunity you need to call out the weirdness and bring your team into a conversation about how you all deal with it: "I know this change feels strange for all of us. I want us to talk about how we can make this work well together."

As a new leader, you will likely feel acutely self-conscious. You will think that everybody is watching and judging your every move (some people may be, but most won’t).

So, it is important to realise that the situation you are in is not all about you. It is really about the team, of which you are a part.

Therefore, rather than immediately focusing on you want people to do for you, start by opening up a conversation about what you want for the team and what the team wants for itself. Share your vision of a collaborative, supportive environment where everyone can do their best work.

Talk about how much more satisfying and rewarding work becomes when teams are genuinely pulling together. Most people have experienced both dysfunctional and high-performing teams—they know which one they prefer.

This approach positions you as someone focused on collective success rather than personal power. It also gives former peers something to contribute to rather than something to resist.

When you frame your leadership in terms of creating better outcomes for everyone, you're more likely to get buy-in from people who might otherwise be wary of your new authority.

New leaders often feel pressure to make their mark quickly. The temptation is to implement changes, restructure processes, or assert authority in visible ways.

Unless you are being forced by your own boss to “go in there and change X, Y and Z on Day1”, try not to fall into this trap. Even if you are under that pressure, for the reasons outlined below, you should try to resist it.

Your critics—and there will be some—are watching for evidence that you're ‘throwing your weight about’ or letting power go to your head. Quick changes or unnecessary assertions of authority, however well-intentioned, can be seen as proof that you're no longer the colleague they once knew.

Take time to see to see things from the different perspective you now have and explain to your team that that’s what you want to do. Be honest about wanting to observe and learn before making significant changes.

This approach serves two purposes: it shows maturity and thoughtfulness, and it gives you time to build credibility before implementing changes that might otherwise create panic or resistance.

As suggested above, not everyone on your team will embrace your promotion with equal enthusiasm.

So, without ignoring the doubters and certainly without appearing to show any favouritism, it is a good idea to cultivate allies in those of your team that you believe are supportive of you.

You just need to have a quiet word with them. Be honest, acknowledge the challenges you face in being new to the leadership role, and ask for their help to maintain a good team dynamic and keep delivering on team goals.

These allies can also provide valuable feedback, help you understand different perspectives, and model positive behaviour for others who might be more resistant to the change.

Just because the relationship dynamics may have shifted you don’t need to become distant or overly formal. You can be clear about fulfilling your new responsibilities while remaining open to input and feedback.

Be transparent about your decision-making process. When you make choices that affect the team, explain your reasoning. This helps former peers understand that you're thinking strategically about what's best for the group, not making arbitrary decisions.

Create consistent communication channels through regular team meetings where everyone receives the same information simultaneously and gets to have a say (see below).

Show you are willing to listen and learn.

Consider adding a "how can we improve" standing item to your regular team meetings and encourage the team to contribute ideas regularly.

Give team members responsibility for driving improvement actions forward. This shows that you value their expertise and aren't trying to control everything from your new position.

When people feel heard and see that their suggestions can lead to real changes, they're more likely to support your leadership and contribute positively to team culture.

You knew these people as colleagues but leading them requires a different understanding of their motivations, strengths, and aspirations.

Take time to have one-on-one conversations with each team member. Find out what they want from their role, what their career ambitions are, what kind of work energises them, and what they find challenging.

Use these conversations to inform how you allocate work, delegate responsibilities, and identify development opportunities.

When people see that you're genuinely interested in supporting their development and willing to act on what you learn, they're more likely to trust your leadership.

Using positional authority might get you compliance, but it won't earn you the kind of leadership credibility that drives real performance. Your former peers especially won't be impressed by your title alone.

Focus on developing influencing skills that don't require you to invoke your authority.

Ask thoughtful questions, provide helpful resources, remove obstacles for your team, and advocate upwards on their behalf.

Show the value that you can bring to your role which, as a leader, is all about creating the conditions for your team to feel motivated and be successful.

Some former peers will test you. This might manifest as questioning your decisions or passive resistance to new approaches.

Don't take this personally. Often, resistance stems from their own disappointment, uncertainty about the future, or genuine concerns about how changes might affect their work.

Try to understand the resistor's perspective and discover what's driving their concerns. You may need to have a difficult one-on-one conversation to get to the bottom it. But approach this with empathy and curiosity, rather than defensively.

You might not be able to solve everything at once. But giving people a chance to be heard will likely buy you some co-operation.

Your former peers are well positioned to give you valuable feedback about your leadership development. They've worked alongside you, seen how you handle pressure, and understand your communication style.

Create opportunities for this feedback by asking questions like: "What's working well about how we're operating as a team now?" or "What's one thing I could do differently to support you better?"

This approach demonstrates maturity and genuine commitment to growing as a leader. It also helps former colleagues feel that their perspectives are valued during a period of significant change.

The transition from peer to leader can be uncomfortable for everyone involved. But it's also an opportunity to demonstrate the leadership qualities that earned you the promotion in the first place.

One of the most important qualities of good leadership is the ability to appreciate the broader context within which you are operating. Your job is to appreciate the perspectives of others and make the connections between your team or function and other activities within your organisation.

As a new leader you can start developing these skills within you own team, by understanding what they want and need, and appreciating what things look like from their point of view.

That is why most of the suggestions above are about acting for the benefit of your team, rather than yourself.

If you were a good colleague and you have good intentions, then this should be well within your capabilities.

If, on the other hand, you clawed your way up through the organisation without caring about the impact of your actions on those around you, then you are likely to be starting from a position of low trust.

In that case you have two choices: 1) start building trust and credibility now by patiently following the kinds of approaches outlined here, or 2) be an authoritarian jerk that nobody likes.

I don’t teach the second approach here.

Thanks for reading. What are some other ways you have found to help the transition to new leader. Please comment below.

My other leadership posts are here.

Survey of new leaders by the Centre for Creative Leadership,